I work with teachers. I have been a teacher too. What do they need?
I’m back peddling and telling you something about my current work first. My job is confidential. I am a child and family therapist working with those recovering from Domestic and Family Violence (DFV). I can’t tell you the address of where I work and I can’t mention names nor tell you stories from my client work. I can’t tell you descriptions of the people I offer therapy to, or what goes on in session. Its all confidential. It is triggering for me when I watch crime shows and police or detectives leave the files around in their homes and as they leave to go, the door slams and files are all over their kitchen table. This does not happen where I work, all files are in locked cabinets or on an encrypted server. The safety of our clients is paramount and keeping client information confidential is part of that safety. Another aspect to the privacy; those affected by abuse, neglect and violence have the right to tell their own stories and that is sensitive material. We honour client privacy in many ways and gain permission for our discussions internally and externally, as far as possible. This does not happen in schools except in the case where a child or young person has been referred to the Guidance Officer or School Counsellor or School Psychologist.
Previous to my work as a therapist I worked as an educator. When I reflect on that time it was probably with loads of students who had experienced or were experiencing DFV. I didn’t know what the students’ behaviour was signalling. It was easy enough to understood when young people weren’t themselves, or were disengaged, or distracted or disruptive or sabotaging of a class – it usually meant they were unhappy. I experienced the frustration of what it is like to make serious attempts to engage students in learning and there was little to no interest. Most students seemed to be loved by their caregivers and there was ‘love and addiction’ or ‘love without boundaries’, or ‘love and poverty’, or ‘love and intergenerational trauma’. A few students who did not feel loved told me so. I am not an extraordinary person, so I know many teachers have heard similar things from their students.
I felt inept, incompetent, frustrated, alone, and deeply saddened that young people did not want to learn, or did not want to connect with the teacher or other students. Now it is so much clearer why young people don’t engage in learning and socialising or connection with adults. Some are trying to forget the impact of the images of the violence that had occurred in the past or that morning before school. Children and young people are trying to forget the insults, abuse, control and fear they have had or are experiencing on a daily basis. Young people are trying to think of how to protect mum or maybe stinging in shame because of the abuse they laid on mum as she tried to get them out of bed that day. This is what roughly a fifth of our young people face in their heads every day, and it affects their learning.
DFV cuts across demographics, however, abuse plus poverty creates what could be argued as more complexity, as there may be more limiting factors; such as stigma, education, medical attention, good dental care, mental health support options, ability to afford appropriate clothes and be seen in society as ‘acceptable’, access to reliable private transport promote more confidence and social acceptability in a world where appearance is vital in the first moments of meeting. In the first few moments of an introduction to a doctor or police officer or teacher or receptionist, a judgment may be made and access to fair treatment may go out the door.
DFV can be invisible to others outside the family to a great extent but once you are aware of the clues it can make a lot more sense. Getting to know what those indicators are (as a teacher) and what support can be given to the students is a whole other story.
I finished university thinking I would teach amazing content, make cool resources, be able to share with other educators and learn so much about teaching. The fact was I accepted jobs in lower socio economic areas where there was an imbalance in poverty, privilege and purpose. Many kids I taught were the product of intergenerational unemployment. There wasn’t motivation for much, except cash to buy the latest runners or the latest tech or games and to escape the impacts of the environments within which they grew. I experienced culture shock. I also experienced abuse from students, and tried to understand this. I couldn’t. I wasn’t equipped. So I kept studying and now work to support those kids on the other side – to help heal after abuse.
Sometimes I think about those days as a teacher, and it drives me to continue to work with teachers. My passion is to offer support that assists teachers to be the joyful, empowered, and the strong leader they envisioned when they began their path of education. My goal is to help teachers understand the disengagement and how to use their classroom to engage students to the best possible level. I also aim to help teachers take care of themselves so they have a long career teaching, giving and guiding. If the self preservation element isn’t there, the passion may dwindle and young people know. So if there are evidence based ways to avoid burnout, and ways to support teachers using my experience and training, that is what I aim to do.
Contact me if you would like to know more about Teachers Talk, a Reflective Supervision based on Clinical Supervision Models offered to social workers, psychologists, counsellors, mental health nurses and other allied and health professionals working with highly complex clients.
